With little to no interaction outside of my workplace, I sought more and more books, and relied on authors, and spiritual icons in this quarantine. I invite you to share a glimpse of my journey, where I learn and unlearn again, with a “Sense of Wonder.”
Let’s start with Eckhart Tolle. No one ever told you that thinking is addictive. And beyond a point, not productive. Simple yet profound, especially when experienced, we are our thoughts, and at the same time, we are not. Brene Brown taught me to accept the paradox that exists and serves us just like a coin has two inseparable sides. Here’s a magic trick I discovered when I negotiate with people day in and day out, and there’s resistance. Asking questions, using these two words “Why” and “How.”
How often do we resist talking things out when met with disagreement? The moment I hit the most challenging spot in this conversation, I ask them, “Why do you feel that way” “How can we make things better” “Why do you think so…” Asking this drops people’s guards. They accept that there’s something in it for them, too; to have this difficult conversation and perhaps, get past it could be a breakthrough.
Now, what if I told you, this other person could be you? Imaginary conversations!
I say to myself. “Why do you feel that way, Mehar”; and for every reply, I ask the “why” again until the “hows” make their way. Shifting the dialogue to myself, I am the one I am talking to, negotiating with, and trying to win over. From asking to solving is where the magic happens. As an evolving species, we are hyper-vigilant, wired to solve problems that haven’t happened yet — doing the dishes for tomorrow now? They aren’t even dirty.
In New Earth, Eckhart Tolle sheds light on our two selves; you can call it your inner voice. Different ways to interpret this, but the self “I can’t live with any more” or “is not serving me anymore” can be let go. Simple! And the self that remains is the self that is awakening.
It continues to awaken as we are all connected to a single consciousness. The universe is always finding ways to live through its creations. Life is happening through us! How beautiful is that!
Think of trees; they just exist, mighty, proud, and beautiful. Humans are complex yet a part of this awakening. Trees don’t have it easy, though, wind, storm, rain, fall, snow, and a game of survival and surrender, both beautiful still. They just “are”, like you just “are” and “I just am.”
Those who make every adversity a part of the spiritual practice continue to grow and find themselves. It’s the sense of wonder that shouldn’t ever go away, of who we are at different points in life. How we create meaning at crossroads and who we are becoming. Challenging moments are a part of our life as much as the good moments are. Growth happens in the dip, and we “become” as we find a way to embrace the suck and come out of it.
Another moment of a profound realization was listening to Alan Watts talk about how “Change” doesn’t need deliberation and planning. “Zen decision is an instant decision”. A choice to change and to trust the next steps is a matter of seconds. But what was more mind-blowing was that we could at any point in life heal from our past. Maybe it took me years to heal, but the decisions I make to heal are grounded in the decision not to let the past define me. So the decision was a matter of seconds with no looking back. Time doesn’t go backward. Think of it again. We blame our pasts, settle to being the by-product of our trauma, and forget we control the “Now”, the only moment that is a gift to build our life upon. Being born repeatedly and the ability to change and adapt is the most significant gift we humans have. Only limiting beliefs come when we feel that we don’t deserve better or the world doesn’t deserve the better version of ourselves.
It’s baffling to me that we take showers while we are mentally at work. We wash our hands, but we are thinking about the next meal. We treat everything we do as a means to an end. Every single thing we do is an anticipation for what is coming next!
I am ready to challenge this addiction to the thought of creating a better future for myself. Doing the right thing, working hard, making mindful choices are first to make a better “present,” a fully lived mindful NOW. And if we did that every day, that makes our life.
Here’s another challenge to think differently about “trying to be our better versions”; a countering belief that if we are always trying to better than our yesterday, then where we are is never enough because tomorrow we will try to be better than where we are today. Sure, never settle, but learn that it’s about replacing the same phrase with “I am becoming my higher self” In actions, we may be handling things in a better way, but that doesn’t discredit how we handled things in the past. We knew no better, but now we do. We made it count.
And I can never forget how joyful I was to hear this in one of the podcasts, where Adam Grant says, “It’s the best version; that tries to be the better version.”
Does this ever stop? This sense of wonder, this search for meaning and fighting new battles every day? No, it doesn’t. Think of life as music or dance. Do we listen to the music so we can enjoy the ending? Is there a good part of a bad part of the dance? It’s the flow that makes it realize its full existence. And the same goes for life, which is not about getting somewhere.
It’s the “virodhi swaron ka Sangam” this life, as Osho said. “The union of opposing sounds that makes the music”. It needs no further validation! “Music” just is, and so is “Life.”
